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Orange peel moses

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Stage Advice: Freak Train

Now in its tenth straight year, Freak Train is Denver's single longest running variety show. On the last Monday of every month, both amateurs and seasoned pros take the stage to the delight of a Bug Theatre packed with entertainment bargain-conscious spectators. It's sort of like an open mic night flavored with born performers. Rookies get to lose their virginity in front of a full house, while experts get to plug revenue-generating productions they're involved with. Hostess GerRee Hinshaw never disappoints, with spot-on, off-the-cuff humor and a melodic recap sing-along at night's end. Plus, free brew's included in the already measly cover charge. Where else does five bucks buy you all-you-can-drink booze, let alone a smorgasbord of so-bad-they're-good and honestly quality acts?
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Voice Boxin’: Ray LaMontagne

Ray LaMontagne always knew there was music in the back pocket of his hand-me-down genes. Still, because his musician father was an abusive man who abandoned his family, he thumbed his nose at fate for as long as humanly possible. Choosing instead to toil in a shoe factory following high school graduation, LaMontagne was awakened to his sacred destiny by a melodic alarm clock--Stephen Stills' drug smuggling cut “Treetop Flyer”. Shunning shoes and wedging his soon-to-be wet feet in the door of the music industry instantly became a substantial priority. LaMontagne's genes did not let him down.

Downtown Lowdown: Roll Play

Downtown Employee Appreciation Week is here, and The Denver Pavilions wants worker bees to have a ball this Thursday at lunchtime. Two of them, actually. Flaming Lips fans will recognize the eight-foot translucent spheres as frontman Wayne Coyne's crowd-surfing transportation of choice. Beta Entertainment Director Ms. Easy's got one too (she uses it at raves like Skylab). In this case, contestants will manipulate the aforementioned human hamster balls down Glenarm in hot pursuit of bragging rights, YouTube glory and even prizes. Downtown trivia will determine which "baller" gets the advantage. Tyler Perry's Shed G is set to emcee. We're not sure whose harebrained idea this was, but we like it. How does it show people who work downtown they're loved? Maybe participating in a simulated rodent race is more fun than merely being part of the proverbial one.
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Cannabytes: Cypress Hill

Although I've witnessed more than one 4/20 rally since, the first time I'd ever seen anyone openly and defiantly smoke pot in public was at Lollapalooza. Members of Cypress Hill were the perpetrators of the civil disobedience in question. Fiddler's Green security guards looked the other way, probably because greenbacks put their bosses in the black. Simple as that. Mile High Music Festival staff will likely follow similar protocol (“potocol”?) this weekend when the hip hop outfit blazes into Dick's Sporting Goods Park.
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Beat Diet: Pretty Lights

Although a few established acts have dabbled in the free download game—Radiohead and NIN are obvious examples—Pretty Lights' Derek Vincent Smith built his entire career that way--from the ground up. The Fort Collins-based producer is practically in a league of his own. Name one other artist who hasn't made a single penny on recorded music and is now capable of packing Red Rocks--a feat Smith is reprising this Saturday. It is a trajectory that many will inevitably imitate. Girl Talk might his only near-peer--business model-wise--but unless Crickets Chirping is the alias of a band not yet on my radar, the answer is clear.

DJ IQ: Nero

The original Nero wasn't exactly a hero. Although he may have been popular with the people, some historians believe the Roman emperor ordered his own mother murdered at one point. On the bright side, he apparently founded a festival--somewhat vainly called Neronia--featuring poetry, games and theater. The UK dubstep duo who commandeered his moniker several millennia later are appropriately slated to murder this Saturday's Love Festival in Colorado Springs.
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Hindsight: Underground Music Showcase

If the festival's attendance figures are correct, The Post's Underground Music Showcase is indeed on pace to become Denver's version of South by Southwest--an event it eagerly compares itself to. SXSW, gearing up for its twenty-fifth year, pulls approximately 15,000 heads to Austin, Texas. The UMS, which just closed the books on its first full decade, is already approaching 5,000. No small feat at all. The scene on South Broadway yesterday—especially last night--definitely reminded me a little of SXSW's main artery in Austin--Sixth Street.
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NocturnOwl: Kitty Kat Social @ Beauty Bar

Ladies nights have long been staples of nightclubs and bars. Get a hen party started and the men will follow. Getting said hen party started in the first place is the hard part. Martinis and manicures, a promotion NY-based Beauty Bar claims to have originated, works like a charm, though. Where else can a girl get her nails done while simultaneously getting hammered? Not many salons have liquor licenses, after all. Stiff cocktails and hand maintenance aren't the only things Denver's franchise has going for it either. Thursday's Kitty Kat Social is hosted by recent Westword “Best Non-Traditional DJ” award winner Ginger Perry.