LoveSmash: Flatline Relationships

This game is much more interesting than you. During the crazy Broncos/Ravens game that sent Our Holy Team out of the Superbowl, I was working some tables at one of my jobs. Every single table or group of pe...

LoveSmash: A Love Game

I have both a joyful love and a fierce hate for video games. I take part in video games when I can, most notably the blockbuster series, Mass Effect. From game one to game three, I was hooked on the plot develo...

LoveSmash: The Friend-Zone Isn’t Real

I put it everywhere. You hear it all the time. It's rule #1 for men who'd rather get it in than listen to your opinions on healthcare and fundamental physics: don't get friend zoned! It's also the first que...

LoveSmash: I’m a Teen in Need of Date Ideas

Hello, teen. If you're reading this, it means several things. One is that you have scored a date. Good job. Not a lot of teens score dates; most teens just score handjobs under the bleachers at a football ga...

LoveSmash: Feminism is for Sissies

Darcy's been trapped in her kitchen for 12 years. Totally desirable. I'm a firm believer that you should always do whatever you want. Don't want to pay the bill on the date? Don't. Want to have sex on the f...

LoveSmash: TANSTAAFLove

Who wouldn't sell their SO off for a few fat chunks of sparkly diamond? From expensive wines to movie tickets and pop tarts (because popcorn is for grown ups), the cost of dates involves not only tickets an...

LoveSmash: Terms of Agreement

Not that cool. The mark of a good relationship isn't a marriage or engagement. In fact, marriage isn't even that cool if you think about it. Once you get past the initial wave of enjoyment of the second toa...
Except for Siamese twins.

Are you Jelly?

Conventional wisdom says that jealousy is a negative feeling that stems from insecurity. I say that's a huge generalization, and that jealousy, like all feelings, is both valid and necessary. The feeling...

LoveSmash: Assuming Direct Control

Say you have a girlfriend and her name is Georgia. Georgia asks you to stop talking to all other females, because she's found out you've been toeing the line between witticism and flirtation with one or two...

LoveSmash: Drool Intentions

One time, a guy asked me to see something at Comedy Works with him. I thought it was a group thing, but was super surprised to get a text asking what time he should pick me up. I knew he didn't want anything be...