The weather is getting better and the days are getting longer. Summer is right around the corner and Red Rocks is brimming with amazing shows that are poised to blow your mind. Nothing can quite match the feeling of seeing a bad ass show at one of the most unique outdoor venues in the country. While it certainly pays to be prepared for a Red Rocks show, make sure you don’t get shut down at the door by getting familiar with these weird rules.
No Selfie Sticks or GoPros
This one is a real heart breaker. Red Rocks Instagram photos just aren’t the same when you can’t get the superior angle with a selfie stick. Traditional selfies will have to do because these are items are absolutely forbidden. Security at the door is very scrupulous, so don’t bother trying to hide your selfie stick in your pant leg — they’ve seen it before. Do yourself a favor, leave it at home and stretch out that shoulder for some old fashioned selfie shots.
All Fruits and Vegetables Must Be Sliced
Nothing spells trouble like someone who tries to bring whole fruits or vegetables to a show. This off-the-walls rule is perhaps my all time favorite. If you’re planning on bringing in some tasty seasonal produce, make sure it’s sliced into nice little bite sized pieces. I know some will be bummed that they won’t be able to bring in apples for totally inconspicuous reasons while watching Wiz Khalifa.
Leave the Wheels at Home — No Strollers or Rollerblades
I’ve always wondered exactly how many stairs Red Rocks actually has. Fun fact – from the lowest parking area to the upper concessions, there are 380 steps per level and the amphitheater itself is one gigantic set of stairs. With this in mind, Red Rocks may be one of the all time worst places ever for recreational rollerblading. Pushing a stroller there would be like a CrossFit workout. Hell, even just walking up to the entrance can be taxing.
“Be Responsible for Your Gum”
Please – just be responsible for your gum. Don’t let it run wild in the venue and ruin everyone’s fun, and take the time and dedication to be a responsible gum owner. In all seriousness though, no one wants to step or sit in gum while they’re having a good time. Do the right thing and just toss in the trash or wrap it in foil and pocket it.
This rule only makes sense because glitter can be a crazy mess. We’ve all been somewhere that’s used glitter – it can keep surfacing in your stuff for weeks. Also, throwing around glitter is technically littering, which is no good. But, considering the fact that you can bring your own personal food in, I feel like glitter should be the least of Red Rocks’ mess worries. Now the question is – does glitter lip gloss count?
Be Poncho Prepared — No Umbrellas
The weather here on the Front Range can be quite unpredictable. In fact — random rain storms are known to blow in on almost a daily basis during the summer. Make sure you’re prepared for a little rain with a jacket, as security will take your umbrella away because it could feasibly be used as a weapon. But also, everyone knows that umbrellas are easily converted into giant bongs, which we all know is the real reason why this rule exists.
You Can Bring Miniature Horses — There’s a Catch Though
It’s not everyday you see someone walking a miniature horse through a packed crowed at a concert. However, this is something that is actually allowed by Red Rocks. Your mini-horse better have it’s papers though – this rule applies only to service miniature horses.
No Hula Hoops
While things like hula hoops and beach balls seem ubiquitous for many large concerts — it is a Red Rocks “no no.” Being shoulder to shoulder at a show probably isn’t the best place to show off hula hoop skills anyways. Feel free to bring your hula hoop and go to town while you’re tailgating. But leave it in the parking lot because security won’t hesitate to deny your hoop entry to the show.
No Aerosol Sunscreen
At Red Rocks, it is common to be frying in the heat before sunset as a show gets underway. Much like the umbrella rule, the no aerosol sunscreen rule seems a little harsh – although having clouds of aerosol sunblock wafting around the mountain air doesn’t sound that great either. Either way, bringing sunscreen to a summer show is must at Red Rocks. With spray sunscreen outlawed, be prepared to ask a friend to get that hard to reach spot on your back.
Making a unique or funny totem can be an awesome way to stick out of the crowd at a big show. Not to mention your friends would have no trouble finding you in a sea of people. Unfortunately, Red Rocks has banned the use of all totems, hand crafted or otherwise. I guess my ten foot tall paper mache replica of Sturgill Simpson will have to stay in my garage for now.