School is almost out for the summer, or you are merely ready to take time off from your adulting life and job. So this means Red Rocks is going to be filled with the masses. But before you pull out your brightest rave clothes and cheapest alcohol shooters, it’s time to get the low down on Red Rocks etiquette.
1. Be aware of your body space (rave girls, I’m talking to you)
You just bought the cutest daisy tittie tassels and now it’s time to show them off. Like any occasion, however, try to be conscious of your person and your bubble space with the people around you. There’s no need for side boob grazing against my left arm or your knockers knocking into my beer cup. I’m all for freedom of expression and body confidence. But I’m also for respecting one another’s space.
2. Puff Puff Pass into the other direction
You just met the coolest group of people, they have collector pins given to them from the latest Grateful Dead cover band and their weed is the dankest, dude. When you take a hit of their grade-A cannabis, just make sure to not blow it into the patrons to your left or right; rather, kindly look down or look up. The marijuana haze will undoubtedly rise among us, but you can still make the effort to not sting your neighbor’s dolled-up eyes.
3. Stop Yelling / Talking / Screaming over the singer who is getting paid to be heard
That’s about it.
4. Keep your elbows to yourself
I’m sorry I arrived late to the concert (let’s all blame I-70, always) but there’s no need to bruise my fragile limbs. You’ll get to hear the singer and see them perform just fine, whether I’m standing next to you or not. I mean, refer to Rule #1 always, but don’t jab your way into a wider amount of personal space than the rest of us low-brow GA ticket buyers. That’s just being a little greedy, and concerts are all about the love, man.
5. No one wants your shady business
You see your old high school dealer Steve huddled in the middle of the row, constantly asking the groups of girls that walk by if they want any of his “stuff” because it’s the best he’s ever seen and experienced. Well, that’s not exactly legal and I’m sure you’ve seen a lot in your time, Steve, but let the concert-goers enjoy their time in peace without transactions that even dirty Wall Street financiers would balk at.
6. And on the 8th day, God gave us trash cans
Red Rocks is beautiful and should remain as such. And no one’s Chacos need to leave sticky with strange substances and trash glued to the bottom. I know, the trash cans and recyclable bins are placed far, far away and it gets so heavy and hard to hold your beer cup/water bottle, but it’ll be like a bad nightmare you’ll never remember when you wake up the next day if you take a few moments to throw your trash responsibly away. Also, to the more rowdy folk, tossing bottles into the air isn’t socially acceptable anymore. Just in case your mom forgot to teach you that before you finally moved out.
7. It’s all about the smiles
Everyone around you wants to be there. No one was forced to buy a ticket, this isn’t a conspiracy. Don’t be that one moody guy who gets angry because dancing music lovers accidentally collide into him, or that girl who brought her relationship drama with her to the rows of Red Rocks. And definitely don’t be that guy who goes on a downward spiral of bad vibes and just genuinely looks like he belongs somewhere with padded cells. Nah, this is your time to shine, smile with strangers, and enjoy your night. You can worry about the real world once you drive out of the parking lot and back into Denver.
8. Put down the phone, I repeat Put Down The Phone
Oh, you do photography as a hobby? Well, I go to concerts as a hobby. And for both those things, no one but yourself is enjoying them. I bet those lazers look real dope in your Instagram, I don’t know though, I couldn’t see them in real life due to your entire outstretched arm trying to capture them on video- right in front of my face.
On a lighter note, it’s better in the long run to just enjoy the time with your friends, be present and commit it to memory. It’s nice getting off the grid sometimes. Try it out the next time you’re at Red Rocks.
