My girlfriend Kailey and I are the odd couple in the sense that I’m extremely fastidious and pet-free, while she is…uh, more “expressive” with her living space in the form of three dogs who have all-access to couches, beds, etc. When I’m not at Kailey’s place, her portly basset/beagle mix, Oliver, sleeps beside her in her bed (right on top of my pillow)–while I enjoy spotlessly white, 1000 thread-count sheets at home. When I come over, she is kind enough to change the sheets before I turn into Howard Hughes. So far, our two separate worlds have avoided collision. So far, that is, until today.

My girlfriend and I are the point in our relationship where when she visits me, the canines follow. To clarify, only two of the three aforementioned dogs are hers. (The third, Luna, belongs to her roommate). Kailey’s other dog is an elderly beagle named Daisy. Daisy spends most of her time snoozing in her bed, no matter where she finds herself. And I wasn’t worried about Oliver being in my place, since he is a champion of inaction. His favorite activity is lying down. That is, until today.

When Kailey brought the dogs over, Daisy promptly fell asleep and Oliver ran around exploring every inch of my loft, putting his paws on kitchen counter edges to have a better look, sticking his head over the lip of the tub, sniffing all the clothes hanging in the closet. “I’m going to train him not to get on the furniture at my place,” I had warned Kailey long before this day ever came, since I knew that would be a big change for both her and Oliver.

Kailey lounged on my bed, and we began talking about our plans for the weekend. All of a sudden, Oliver–with an epic vertical leap worthy of an Olympic pole vaulter–cleared the huge, King-sized bed and landed on my virgin-white comforter. It was so astonishing that the chubby fellow had executed such a feat, that for a moment neither of us could react. Oliver walked over to my side of the bed, dug his nose under the pillows, scattered them about, then dropped on his side to wriggle all over my pillow. Kailey watched in horror, like when you’re in a dream and cannot react quickly enough. I was so surprised that I simply fell out, laughing. It was the funniest thing I’d ever seen the dog do.

Paradise comes at a price. And having a fantastic girlfriend who owns two dogs might mean having dog hair all over your expensive sheets, with a happy dog grinning back at you while his butt rests on your pillow.