Dear Big Name Musicians,
I would like to open up a space where trust and talk can flow freely between one another. This is a safe space, à la Alcoholic Anonymous, or some other group where feelings can be spilled with no judgment from either party.
Denver is like New York City or Los Angeles’ younger, hippy-ier sister, but the child no one mentions during family reunions because they still smoke weed and haven’t become a lawyer or famous actress. We all have that relative (maybe it’s you).
But listen up musicians – you can’t keep skipping over our bountiful stadiums, gorgeous Red Rocks and seedy lounges. Beyoncé, I’m looking at you. Where were you during your Formation tour or On The Run 2 tour you just announced with Jay Z? Millions of souls shed tears when they went to purchase Lemonade tickets the night of your announcement and saw no sight of Denver. I will always be a part of the Beehive, but I’d give anything to see you stomp across the Pepsi Center stage. Clearly, your tour is larger than life and perhaps you felt our stadiums weren’t large enough. Our hearts are though, is that not enough for you?
I feel like Jeff Ross right now from Comedy Roast, but Kanye, the fire is now flamin’ up on you. You get a lot of hate, I get this. You’re successful, creative and you label yourself a genius. This can alienate some people who have yet to understand how carelessly callous the ego is. But you haven’t dipped your toes into the Rockies — not that smart. You haven’t even been here since 2009 — your first mistake. Your second? Skipping us on the Yeezus Tour. Final and third mistake? Letting your Saint Pablo Tour forget about us once more. When you proclaimed to the crowd at the VMAs you were high and running for president in 2020, all of us folk in Denver laughed. Wow, he’s high? What a shocker. It’d be shocking if you came here, though.
However, Kanye does have some indie leanings that are cultivated here. Here me out — the artist Bon Iver is frequently credited as a writer or producer or even singer on some of Kanye’s albums. They collaborate on other artists’ albums as well. Just think of Bon Iver to Kanye as James Blake to Beyoncé, an unlikely pair who produce jazzy tunes together.
Maybe these musicians need more incentive than just a call to action. Denver has seen over 100,000 people move here in the last year, thus this influx of people will surely fill up forgotten stadium seats. Our underground music scene is thriving, with local artists supporting well-known headliners at festivals such as Telluride Bluegrass Festival and ARISE Music Festival. Denver even holds an Underground Music Showcase, so clearly, we love our musicians just as much as we love the big-names. Maybe this indie vibe kills off those that tout international stages and radio stations.
Don’t be scared, though. Rihanna, I constantly see Instagram pics of you throwing your best shade face on stage, so why won’t you come share it here in? With your fashion and boss work, I know you hate being called a role model due to your full embrace of not giving a single care to how you conduct yourself. However, you have come a long way since your Pon De Replay days, and I have a feeling you could connect with many Denver women and their stylish hangs. I’d categorize Denver women as being extremely independent and self-sufficient, and Rihanna takes pride in leading on her own. She’d create her own niche here — if she ever stopped by.
Before I end this letter, I’d like to extend a congratulation to Drake for never letting us down. Good job for not ignoring the magic of the Mile High and all that its music industry has to offer.
To the rest of you, this has been your warning.
Denver Music Lovers