Spring started early this year for us in ye ol’ Mile High. I don’t know if you’ve heard of this controversial topic people call “global warming.” Mentally, we know this hot-as-hell early weather is a bad thing. The missing snow is a bad, bad thing. But, emotionally and physically, we are happy to sign off on the heat.
Spring fever. The words immediately transport me back to the last day of school, when I knew that a bunch of incoming seniors were waiting outside for me so that they could whack me with their wooden paddles. Steven Tyler belting out “Sweet Emotion” in the background. Ben Affleck all fat and douchey… Remember that? You could almost smell the madness brought on by spring. A restlessness with whatever your humdrum shiz is emerges and an increased level of sex-want develops in people of all ages.
The Lab is an ideal spot for the ushering in of springtime merriment. I don’t know if the The BoyLab Boyz (sounds like a greaser gang or Chip ‘n’ Dales, right?) feel oafish during this time of year when they plan our pain like the rest of do about our jobs, but the workouts continue to function as divine intervention. I feel a bit more violent toward them at the moment, because I just want to drift off on a pina colada until fall, but I simply cannot checkout while haciendo ejercicio (tr: doing exercise/exercising) at The BodyLab. Se impossible! Plus, most people workout in order to look good solely for this season, so there’s no way someone in their right mind could quit coming right now. And, many of the workouts lately seem to reference water sports, which makes me feel better about the fact that I won’t actually participate in the sort of a thing. Ever. So, that’s a plus, too.
But, there’s only one tell-tell sign that The Lab is in full bloom. Is it the fact that it just emerged from its cocoon on Broadway into a butterfly of a new space on Lincoln? Is it the fact that a bunch of newbies have migrated to The Lab? Is it the smell of rubber mats doused in the pheromone-infused sweat of BodyLabbers? No, friends. It is the unbelievable–yet undoubtedly spring-inspired–sight of people tongue-kissing while I work out my chest and back. And, it’s just one more piece of documented evidence that The BodyLab is for sure a portal to another planet. I mean, does that happen at your gym?
AWESOME THINGS I HEARD AT THE BODYLAB SINCE LAST POST
“I’ll call you.” – choice words from Tyler after his signature Ass Attack!
“This workout will melt your face off.” – Matt
“Don’t worry, we’re installing condom dispensers in the bathrooms.” – Ryan, after noticing me noticing the happy couple making out
Laura Standley has been the editor in chief of 303 Magazine since 2007. She’s been blogging about fitness since January 2011. To see her past blog posts, click here.