Sooo…  I should have some sort of poundage to report at this point, right? Of the final 10, how many have you lost, Laura?! And, Laura, why didn’t you blog about week 48? Lucy, you have some splaining to do…

You may not have noticed my blog missing last week since you were probably drunk or eating. Fair enough. And, so was I, a little, so I don’t have any progress to report (that’s what my trainer/motivator calls an excuse, by the way. Have you met him? His name is Jess Hogue and he is the owner and personal trainer at Shape Plus Personal Training. He has been doing everything from holding my hand to kicking my ass this year. Read about the journey here, if you’re so inclined. It’s been incredible).

The truth is, life isn’t perfect and I’m an infant in mine. I have been faced with some new scenarios–life scenarios, they will come up again and I have only infantile knowledge of how to address them. In these scenarios, I haven’t made choices that would lead to weight loss. I’ve done the opposite. I’ve made bad choices (my ego is like, “Why are you typing this, Laura?”). So, life threw me some tests and I failed them. When it comes to weight loss, you either did it or you didn’t. It’s pass/fail. You can’t sort of do it, just like you can’t be sort of pregnant or be sort of unique. You either are or you are not.

I’m just in the baby steps phase of My Fit Life. I have a lot of experience in My Life of Sloth. I know how I coped with everything in MLOS, but I’m still just a wee little tike in MFL. So, I often act like a baby. Which means, I don’t totally get how to handle new challenges, I often topple over having no idea why and I have to learn from these mistakes. But, as a toddler, I could just accept these lessons. Like, don’t touch the stove, because you might burn yourself. Done. Accepted. Moving right along… As an adult, I have an uncanny ability to complicate just this type of lesson, a lot: I could hover over the stove, I could touch things that are touching the stove, I could touch the stove thirty-nine minutes after it was turned off, etc., etc.

Losing weight is as simple as the stove. Hand + hot stove = ouch. Simple. Losing weight is equally straightforward. Eat right = lose weight. Eat right + work out = lose weight. It’s fucking simple, you guys. It is so fucking simple, I’m going to say fuck one more time. But, trust me, I’ve made it extremely complex a million and one times. Most people do. So, I’m really lecturing myself here.

So, why did I eat too much when I knew I couldn’t exercise (one of life’s little gifts was making it very difficult for me to exercise in the past two weeks) and that I was trying to lose weight?  I’ve been meditating on this question. And, I think the answer is simple: it’s fun. And, P.S. Drinking booze is fun, too.

Eating  and drinking are fun, duh. But, they are the sort of fun I need much less of when I’m having the sort of fun I have at the gym. I’m serious. Stop rolling your eyes. Working out brings me a tremendous amount of joy, pride, satisfaction, sense of accomplishment and reward. I think you can tell by this video–A Short Film About Dips Courtesy of Jess Hogue–to witness how much I love to work out (that was me “working out” a little sarcasm). But, I do like watching this video–I like how strong I look. The actual act might not be fun, but I walk around peacocking it up all the time…proud as a damn peacock. And, I dare you to dare me to a race at a moment’s notice. That’s right. I double dog dare you to surprise-race-challenge me. That sort of power seems banal when you don’t have it. Like, “Who gives a shit about racing? What are we, five?” But when you have this type of power, taking over the world seems like a real possibility–an eventuality, if you will. Not working out means I want to find my happy elsewhere–booze and food. I’m glad to be certain of this information now. I know that I’m more likely to want these things if I don’t have the satisfaction of physical accomplishment. This simple knowledge will help me mentally prepare in the future when life continues to be imperfect.

As a baby in My Fit Life, either I’m inclined to be incredibly balanced or incredibly imbalanced, apparently. I’m not completely sure how to curb it, how to get around it or how to change it, but baby steps, right? I’ll figure it out (see equation for weight loss above). And, yes, baby steps even after a year.

Laura Standley has been the editor in chief of 303 Magazine since 2007.
To read her past blog entries, click here.