So while cruising the pages of this month’s Glamour my other half and I came across an interesting little article about dumb things done while out on a date which got us laughing, then talking and eventually thinking. What is something dumb we’ve done on a date?
There’s a movie, I’m sure many of you have seen starring Ben Stiller and the beautiful Jennifer Aniston…I think you know, Along Came Polly. Well fast forward a bit and you’ll stumble across the scene where the uptight, conservative Reuben (Stiller) and the carefree, adventurous Polly (Aniston) find themselves on date at an Indian restaurant. While trying to impress the lady, Reuben ignores his sensitive bowels and chows down. Needless to say, when the date came to a close things got “hot and heavy” but not in the bedroom–in the bathroom…at least for Stiller’s character. Which is embarassing enough, but without toilet paper, he manages to tear apart her bathroom, clog her toilet and ruin her grandmother’s towel in the process. How embarrassing…no not embarrassing, mortifying.
So sure, some of the things we read we’re bad but nothing in comparison to that. After laughing about an exaggerated cinematic situation of that nature, where everything possible could go wrong and did go wrong, what’s the worst situation The Odd Couple has ever found themselves in on a date?
For this half of the couple, it’s not too terrible. I once met a guy and agreed to meet up later in the week for drinks. The day came and I spent my fair share of time primping, prepping and double checking in the mirror. I got in my car and drove to my destination, the butterflies building in my stomach. When I arrived at the agreed upon location (a few minutes late…), I was shocked to see that my date wasn’t there. So, I waited a little bit longer. After fifteen minutes, I felt it was fair for me to send a courtesy “Where are you?” text. No response. Twenty minutes, I opted for a the phone call. No response again. After almost forty-five grueling minutes, I was LIVID and naturally thought it was in my best interest to leave a spiteful message on his voice-mail.
I drove home sad and dejected. Just as I was about to bust out the pint of cookie dough ice cream to wallow in my sorrow, my phone rang beside me…it was him. Apparently, I had mixed up the days and we were actually supposed to meet the next day. But, after the dejected, raging psychopath came out about ten dates too early, the imagined rejection turned into reality.
I’ll start with the moral of this sad, sad story. Do not, I repeat , do not, beg a guy to go out on a date with you AND pay for the entire nice dinner when you don’t know his name or eye color. While out on a boozy night of bachelorette-ing, I ran into a very handsome and tall (and tall men are hard to find these days) lad. We chatted, one thing led to another, and exchanged numbers. At the time, I was spending ten hour days in a cube job with unlimited access to gmail. And so I e-mailed him, and e-mailed him, again, and again. Yeah, basically begged for a date. We set it up, I got all pretty, drank a glass or three of wine before heading to said date location, and showed up full of promise.
He was as cute as I remember, for three minutes, after which he talked about himself the entire time and about the fact that he was moving away in two weeks. I think it was a classic case of “the chase”; in such a small amount of time, he had already made himself so unavailable that I was enamored with something I couldn’t (and later found out never should have) had. Long story short, we ate a nice dinner, for whatever reason I offered to buy (seriously, why?), paid the bill, and left. Then he tells me his mother is in town and he needs to jet immediately. Really? Really? Jump to the end of this story. He never called me again. Never e-mailed me again. Nothing. Em-barr-ass-ing. I felt used. Oh, well. Guess he was just not that into me. At least now I am engaged to a nice, brown-eyed man who really likes me. And he’s tall.
So now we as The Odd Couple pose he question…what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done on a date? Don’t be embarrassed either. If you’ve never clogged a dates toilet, made a psycho (and might I say unnecessary) phone call, or begged for a date only to be ditched…you’re already much better than us. So tell us you’re stories, we promise we won’t laugh (at least not in your face).