Mile High Stadium echoes with the cheers from our spectacular, and, admittedly, surprising win on Sunday. The last of the trash is being taken out with the remnants of the Terrible Towels torn to shreds out of grief and frustration. But before we all start breaking into spontaneous Tebowing, I’d like to take a huge step back and ask the women of Denver this question:
Why do we, as fans, so often stop looking like women?
For example, I was a spectator of an almost-scrap at my neighborhood watering hole between Steelers and Broncos fans and, amidst the sloshing around of pint glasses and savage napkin-throwing, I couldn’t tell the difference between the men and the women. The jerseys that are, apparently, the mark of a true fan are meant to cover pads and pounds of man muscle, not our slender shoulders and smooth, albeit toned (we’ve kept our resolutions so far, have we not?) biceps. Sure, imitation is the best form of flattery and I believe a healthy dose of confidence for our Broncos wouldn’t be the worst thing, but my back is broad enough as it is. I don’t need to accentuate it with yards of shiny blue fabric.
Victoria’s Secret PINK has some tissue tees with flirty sayings like, “Tailgate with me” that would look way cute over a navy thermal and fluffy mittens. For games that you’ll be watching at home with a beer and deep dish pizza, there are PINK lounge pants. If you are a lover of logos and lace, Reebok came out with a Broncos PJ set, as well as super-fun undies and thongs for some a celebratory romp in the sack, unless your boyfriend happens to be from Pittsburgh, in which case he spent all Sunday night sulking (Buzzkill). You would think the combination of alcohol consumption, ass-slapping and passions running high would make it easy to get frisky, but if you’re dressed like a dude, it might prove to be a bit of a challenge. Well, maybe not too much of a challenge with some guys, but by the time he gets you down to your skivvies, he’ll probably be disappointed with the plumbing.
Come Saturday night for the Patriots game, let’s leave the jerseys to our fellas or, at the very least, the actual Broncos. Let’s experiment with the clothes that were made and inspired by us. Because, guys, we female football fans are here to stay.