I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Even though you criticize your own figure and do not want to see yourself in a swimsuit – let alone in lingerie – he does. Yes, 100 percent of the time. Yes, when you feel bloated. Yep, even after you’ve gained an additional 10 (or a multiple of 10) pounds.
I know, I know, if any healthy girl meets me in person, she’ll glare and think, What does this skinny bitch know about fat rolls and muffin tops? But, before you hate me, start learning to love you. I may have a great digestive system and good genes (and, lately, major stress overload), but I also know what’s in store some day. Pre-baby body and post-baby body don’t have much in common, unless you’ve got money in the bank for a dietician and a personal trainer. But, your man wants to have sex with you, whether you like your post-baby bumps or not. I may not be a credible source, not having birthed a human before, but I have witnessed, time and time again, pregnant women critiquing their figures post-pregnancy. You just peed/pooped/bled out an entire individual, some distortion is to be expected. If your man starts to love on you less (any Emily fans pick up on The Bachelorette reference?), remind him a basketball isn’t meant to fit inside a golf cup, but you managed to keep it in one and eventually squeezed it out.
Plus, it’s true, men notice so much less detail than women do. For instance, if you live with a man, look around your house. Take mental notes of what needs to be done to tidy up. Then, ask your man what he sees. I guarantee your answers won’t be similar. You see a sink full of dirty dishes, he sees whole cupboards of the remaining clean ones. You see crumbs on the table, he sees an opportunity to eat. You see laundry piling up, he loves the temporary extra space in the closet. And, the best part is, the less clothes you have on when you’re around him, the less he sees of the messes and the more he’s distracted by the chance to take off what remains.
You hear it time and again, men are visual creatures. Take it for what it is, don’t read between the lines: they want what they see, and they see you. Not your stretch marks, not your love handles; just you and your mommy parts. So, spend less time looking for ways to hide yourself beneath unflattering clothes, and go buy yourself something that’ll bring back the Wow factor you once saw when you looked in the mirror. Or, let him pick something out he wants to see you in – once you see his reaction, it’s bound to remind you you’ve still got it, whether it’s a size 2 or a 2XL.
Vicky fills the shoes of local Carrie Bradshaw in CandiDates, a blog about her own quest to explore the intricacies of relationships. Originally from Kiev, Ukraine, she has made Denver her home and playground. An editor and writer for 303 Magazine by day, Vicky spends her nights pursuing her passion of ballroom dance.