It’s that time of year, and I am sure you expect me to write about it. But, what about Valentine’s Day hasn’t been talked about? There is being single on V-Day, what to do with/for your mate, how to keep the romance alive, how to deal with break-ups during this time of year… And each one of us has dealt with most, if not all, of the scenarios. So, selfishly, here is my current dilemma.

I’m getting ready to spend my second Valentine’s Day with my now fiancé, and he set the bar high with last year’s celebration. I want to impress as well, but everything I think of consists of…well, stuff I would probably enjoy more. Go see a play? He’d rather play video games. Take him to The Vow? I better promise to follow that chick flick up with a porn flick. Treat him to a couple’s massage? Unless the masseuse looks like American Pie’s Nadia, I might as well just treat myself to one, while he enjoys video games and the porn flick.

I mean, let’s face it, the Valentine’s Day market is overwhelmingly catered to women. Flowers, jewelry, chocolate, candles, romance, blah. What guy wants to receive flowers, especially delivered to his work place? Unless he works with all ladies and you want to mark your territory, steer clear of feminine gestures. He needs to maintain manhood when he shows up to work the next day. Now, sending a stripper may win you some points from your man and all his male coworkers, but it can also get him fired. Plus, how can you top that next year?

What do men really want out of this day? Besides—or, rather, in addition to—a woman in lacy lingerie, offering sexy time? I think the best gift we, ladies, can give our men is time to spend doing what they want but don’t get to do much of. Romance may strengthen the relationship, but hobbies maintain it, so combine the two. If he likes cards, set up a strip poker table and place some bets. If he enjoys video games, grab the second controller. If he’s an avid sports fan, take him out to a ball game and avoid asking dozens of girlie questions about the rules of the game.

And, in my case, sounds like my Valentine’s Day will be spent wearing lacy lingerie while playing Star Wars: The Old Republic. Such is love.


Vicky fills the shoes of local Carrie Bradshaw in CandiDates, a blog about her own quest to explore the intricacies of relationships. Originally from Kiev, Ukraine, she has made Denver her home and playground. A writer and copy editor for 303 Magazine by day, Vicky spends her nights pursuing her passion of ballroom dance.