All hours of the day, three times a week, on the weekends—how often is often enough? Yes, I am talking about sex, that amazing act that fulfills the relationship, allows all inhibitions to come down, or, for some, the only thing keeping a couple together. The male response would surprise no one, but what may is the fact that the female response is similar. We want it as much as you do, as often as you do; we are just much, much better at disguise and forced distraction.

So, what’s “normal” – how often does an average couple romp? Having participated in many a conversation regarding this matter, I can safely say that I have heard numbers that seem unreal (six times a day, every day—lucky you, but do you have a job? And now, major chafing?), numbers that seem to be the average (3-5 times a week—you’re getting yours and still getting some sleep) and numbers that can make even the least sexual person depressed (do Sundays count as a special occasions?) And does frequency relate directly to the length of a relationship—do the first few months of nonstop desire slowly give way to the lazy comfort zone of cuddling? Can couples maintain their sexual desire through the years?

Let’s compare sex to the gym. For instance, when all you people (myself included) commit to a workout regime (New Year’s resolution, anyone?), you stick to it, loving every minute of the results. Then, the initial high wears off; either you see no results, or the body gets into shape and just needs to be maintained. By April, the gym becomes ghost town. I can write a book of excuses not to go work out—I’m tired, have other things to do, can’t miss The Bachelor going to home towns, I’d rather sleep, clean, fly to the moon—but, once I force myself to go, none of those excuses seem as important as the adrenaline rush I attain from the workout. Sex, really, is the ultimate form of exercise, with an orgasm on top (or bottom—doesn’t matter how you achieve it, as long as you achieve it). No amount of excuses beats the end result. So, really, those of you saving yourselves for special occasions better get the ball(s) rolling before you end up spending those joyous occasions alone; and those of you maintaining your physique six times a day, guess you finally gave me a good enough excuse to skip the gym: I have some catching up to do.


Vicky fills the shoes of local Carrie Bradshaw in CandiDates, a blog about her own quest to explore the intricacies of relationships. Originally from Kiev, Ukraine, she has made Denver her home and playground. A writer and copy editor for 303 Magazine by day, Vicky spends her nights pursuing her passion of ballroom dance.