Recently the discussion came up with my girl Juliet and I, her twin sister and her twin’s new girlfriend: should you talk about past relationships in your current one?

We sat at Sweet Action Ice Cream, which besides having a titillating name, offers excellent vegan choices for those who opt out for dairy (like me). Two things were actually occurring simultaneously: Juliet and I were meeting her twin’s girlfriend for the first time, which to me–the television producer–meant conducting a polite interview in an attempt to learn something about her. And, we were discussing serious subject matter, without all participants knowing each other well–which can be a recipe for ruffled feathers and accidental insults.

We all had slightly different opinions about whether or not to discuss past relationships in your present one, with some of us more sentimental about reminiscing about girlfriends-past than others in the group, but we all agreed upon the bottom line (more or less). Basically, it’s important to know where you came from, what you’ve done and what’s been done to you in life to wind up here, as you are, right now.

But, any way you look at it, the past is dead. And so it doesn’t really matter. Every day is a clean slate, a chance to let go of old grievances and hurts, and live the life you’ve always imagined. My thought? Let the ghosts of old girlfriends die, so you have room in your life for (should you be so lucky) the one staring you right in the eyes.