Photo: Juliet

My girl Juliet has three kids–an 11-year old son and 2-year old fraternal twins. And it’s been so much fun getting to know each of these very unique, young personalities. The twins especially are comic relief.

The first time I spent quality time with the boy, Mark, fell during bath time. He showed me his bath toys while I perched on the toilet lid next to him. It became a game where he reached underwater, handed me each toy and called it by name: “Duckie, boatie, truckie.” Suddenly I heard, “Ewww!” and he quickly handed me a piece of alien matter not of this world. I implored myself not to think too much about it, leapt up and flushed it.

“Poo,” he said matter-of-factly as the toilet swirled it out of sight. He and I laughed so hard (while I vigorously scrubbed my hands) that Juliet came running in to see what all the commotion was about. All I could say was that Mark and I had made friends.

My breakthrough experience with the girl, Maddie, came the first time she asked me to pick her up. She immediately put her hands on every article clothing and jewelry I wore. It was quite clear this head-to-toe inspection would determine if I was worthy of her attention. Finally, she squeezed my face, pulled my ears, stuck a finger up my nose and then asked me to put her down. On the way, she gave my nipple a good hard tweak through my clothes. I was struck dumb–not only by the action, but by her dead-on baby aim. She just laughed at me with a shrewd little twinkle in her eye that said, “Yeah, you’re okay.”

Getting to know Juliet’s kids has brought an unexpected facet to my relationship with her. Kids have a way of surprising you right out of your everyday rut by making you laugh at yourself, which is never a bad thing. Just be prepared to fling poop and protect your nipples.