There is always that one person at the party. You do not want to be that person. The one who always manages to put a damper on a good time. You know the one we are talking about — it’s the person who shows up to a formal event in jeans or brings napkins to the potluck and then proceeds to drink all the good booze. They exist in all forms, it’s a rule of the universe — but you can do the beer universe a favor and not be that person at your local Denver brewery.
Below is a list of five people you don’t want to be at the brewery.
1. The “I Don’t Really Like Beer” Person
If you are a wine or liquor lover — we get it, a craft brewery may not be up your first choice. Same goes to those who have an undying love for Coors Light. That is okay and there are plenty of great places in Denver to enjoy both (Denver’s craft cocktail scene is impressive). But craft breweries showcase their own beers and are damn proud of them, so consider giving one a shot while you’re there — no matter what your preferred beverage is. You’re likely to find that beer is much more diverse than you once thought it was.
2. The Beer Snob
The Beer Geek is good — but the Beer Snob can be a buzz kill. What’s the difference? The Beer Geek is an appreciator of beer who likes all styles and shares their knowledge and love for beer when asked or encouraged. The Beer Geek also loves the brewery atmosphere and pays special attention to the beer staff. The Beer Snob takes all of those things to the extreme. There’s a good chance they are judging your beer choice and will snicker if you don’t drink the beers on your flight in the right order. It’s better not to drink the palate busting IPA first, but it’s your right to do it if you want. Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated, let others enjoy their beer night without it.
3. The Drunk
Take a moment before answering this next question — When was the last time you saw someone fall over drunk at a brewery? Breweries are different from bars — at least that’s what I have been telling my family for years, and I believe it. Breweries are causal drinking locations meant for people to come in and explore their beer boundaries. There is no beer pong, beer bongs and definitely no game of quarters. If you want to get hammered, start at the brewery so you can appreciate the beer and end somewhere else where the drinks don’t matter and the dance floor is yours.
4. The Person Afraid of a Decision
Yes, breweries can be intimidating if you are not into beer. The menus can range from as few as six beers to well over a dozen, and not all menus are bursting with information. When asked what you would like to drink, it is absolutely okay to say you aren’t sure. If asked what do you like — do not respond with, “I don’t know” and give no other details because no one can help you, and the awkward stare down will begin. Mention a flavor you enjoy, another style you’ve had in the past — just give the beertender something, anything. The beertender and the people behind will appreciate it. Side note — if you don’t want to commit right away, asking for a small sample — not even a 4-ounce taster — is fine, but don’t take advantage of a good thing so pick two or three and then pick yourself a beer.
5. The Parent with The Missing (Fur)Baby
First and foremost, this is not suggesting that dogs and children should not be at the brewery. We’ve discussed this before, but breweries are family friendly which includes your fur babies — but be self-aware. The words, “Where is my baby/dog?” should never be uttered. Children and dogs should be under control — there are too many other people (drinking good beer) along with other pets and dogs for a free for all.
Our local brewery scene is bursting. Denver is home to enough breweries to keep your calendars packed for months, so enjoy it. Nothing is perfect but being one of these five people will make it awfully hard to have the best time. Getting together to enjoy good beer is a privilege that not every city gets so let’s appreciate it. Go out, try new beers and make new friends. Craft beer culture is all about exploration so enjoy it to the fullest.