To achieve social success, manners are essential when it comes to using your phone. I know you are probably very busy and important attending 303 Magazine’s Poolside Fashion Show this Thursday and pool parties on Saturday; however, other people will find you inconsiderate if you don’t take time to connect with the people around you. Learning when to pocket your phone and disconnect will help you foster good relationships with acquaintances, friends, colleagues and romantic interests. Manners never go out of style and Kate Spade will attest to that.
Here are some simple rules to get you invited back to that party. “Please” and “thank you” will go a long way.
Public Conversations –
“Secondhand chat is right up there with secondhand smoke,” says Kate Spade in her book Manners. Everybody has a need for speaking their mind, but be cautious of where and how you do it. Keep in mind your agenda and keep your conversations discrete. Do you really want to know who slacked on laundry this week and is wearing dirty underwear? Do you really want to know who the store owner is sleeping with on Saturdays? Do you want to know who got traveler’s diarrhea on the last flight to Guam or how much the person paid for their seat? Certainly not. “This is selfish and boring,” says Spade, “Please, don’t blow smoke in our face or talk in our ear.”
Scheduling Dates –
“Use your phone when you’re on the go and need to confirm or change appointments, reservations, film schedules,” says Spade. Don’t rely 100% on your phone to bail you out of a tardy situation or to escape a date. If you are running late, be honest. If you suggest a lunch date or a drink with someone, follow through. Sincerity is the best policy.
Pocket Your Phone –
Kate Spade says “making others feel at ease is the essence of etiquette,” so
minimize your phone use, especially in public, and always excuse yourself for personal calls.
If you are at a dinner party, date or social gathering, then you must ask yourself – is it really the best time to be on my phone? You may be asking, why the hell not? Think about the people with you and consider showing an interest in the company around you. It is not only good manners, but will pave your road to socialite success.
Social Media Manners –
“Don’t swear or conduct an argument,” says Spade. If you truly have a problem, reasonably resolve it offline – no need to make it public. Good news travels fast, but bad news travels even faster. Protect your online reputation online by controlling your temper. If a slew of bad comments (from people you may not actually know) is upsetting you – simply delete or block whatever it is and hold your head high. It’s hard to be the true winner of such a fight.
Good Phone Calls –
“The tone of your voice speaks volumes,” says Spade. Always keep your volume low and conversation friendly. During weekdays don’t place calls before 8am and after 10pm. During weekends, call between 10am and 10pm. “If you are in the middle of a serious conversation, don’t pick up call waiting,” says Spade. Let the second call go to voicemail or answer it only to briefly inform them that you are on the other line and will return their call shortly. Lastly, remember to return personal phone calls the same day or within 24 hours.
Consider the following: If every person in your vicinity is a potential connection, friend or ally, why treat them like flies? Conversing with your barista or babysitter is not only good manners, but also a great way to cultivate relationships. Who knows who may be related to Bill Clinton and invite you along for a trip to Colombia?
Use your phone as a tool for success rather than a tool for boredom or dismissal. “The best gift you can give is respect – it costs nothing and it is endlessly appreciated,” says Spade. So show some respect, give attention to the people around you and graciously mind your manners.