Brace yourself—this one’s a doozy. Siberian reindeer have a thing for magic mushrooms. Fly Agarics, as they’re called, just so happen to be red and white like Santa. Legend has it, shamen in the region used to drink reindeer urine for its hallucinogenic properties. Acid heads occasionally jump out of windows—believing they can fly—maybe Siberian shamen (and even the animals that pulled their sleds) experienced a similar phenomenon. What if both were tripping balls? Is is possible that our single most popular modern myth originated there? What if, under the influence of magic reindeer piss, red and white Fly Agarics morphed into a person?

George Peele enjoys strapping on height enhancers and aurally ambushing strangers. He is Music Editor for 303 Magazine. Follow Peele on Twitter: @Orangepeelmoses. Avatar image courtesy Jonathan Shoup.