Take It Outside: This Place Is Beachin’

Wednesday marked summer’s official arrival, and, in a welcoming gesture, her facetious friend Friday celebrates today by turning up the heat with 100 degrees of hot mess mayhem.  The city’s record high temperatures and the overwhelming presence of sundresses and graphic tanks have even Denver’s most loyal seeking alternative venues for their weekend workouts. The mountains serve as the usual, and obvious, retreat. But, even the peaks’ cooler temperatures and refreshing scenery may not satiate Denver-dwellers’ need for serious hydration. So, where do we go?
Imagine, if you will, a place where water flows abundant and clothing lingers only in our minds, as a distant memory. Side by side, the leisurely sip cooling cocktails, while the active fill their fitness fixes, resulting effortlessly in a harmonious mingling of social scenes.
Where is this seeming utopia? Of course, I’m referring to what the Coasties call a beach. For the true natives, please use the hyperlink to reference the proper definition of this apparent phenomenon.

Sure, the nearest coastline to Denver lies 1,000 road miles away. And yes, when it comes to a water-meets-sand scenario, Colorado is not America’s first, or even second, or even 36th beach destination. But, despite less-than-abundant-shorelines, Colorado does boast a few lake locations worth a curious gander.  

Blue Mesa Reservoir offers ample water and breathtaking scenery, Steamboat Lake State Park provides premier fishing and camping options,  and for closer venues, pull out your sailboat, dust off your waterskis, and pack up your picnic baskets for a day in the sun at Jackson Lake State Park.  Alternative options include Lake Loveland Swim Beach, Bear Creek Lake Park Beach, Boyd Lake State Park Beach, Surprise Beach, Lake Pueblo State Park Beach, and Bonny Lake State Park Beach, just to name a few. Phew!

In honor of this lakeside enlightenment, I’ve compiled a list ofthe Top Five Reasons Colorado Beaches Rock Harder.

Top 5 Reasons Colorado Beaches Rock Harder

1. They Rock Harder

Very literally, Colorado shoreline overwhelmingly consists of rock versus sand. After all, this is the Rocky Mountain Region. But hey, we’re Coloradoans, and that means if you can’t beat it, climb it.

2. No Whales, Sharks, or Jellyfish

These dangerous ocean dwellers do not pose any threat in our coastline-free locale. Sure, those seeking to fulfill their urinary sexual fetish by feigning a jellyfish sting will have to find satisfaction elsewhere, but, luckily for the rest of us, we can assume a safe swimming environment free of these threatening sea creatures.

3. Sexy Bodies

As one of the most active, and thinnest populations in America, the view at any Colorado beach certainly must rank among the  highest in the country. With the possible exception of California, Colorado beach bods are sure to be the thinnest, sexiest, and most toned you’ll find.

4. No Tourists

As Coloradoans, we’re proud to assert that we live in one of the most scenic and sports-oriented states in the U.S. In turn, jealous vacationers flock to our mountainous haven, crowding our ski and snowboard runs and drinking our microbrews. But, as one of the best kept secrets in the West, Colorado lakes and beaches remain entirely tourist-free.

5. Novelty

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and sure enough, in a state suffering record drought, our hearts and minds daydream fleetingly of expansive water sources. While for Coasties a day at the beach means just another day, in Colorado, a day at the beach provides a truly special and novel experience.

So, now that you know why Colorado Beaches Rock Harder, where is your next beach destination? No need to resort to a Google search, the answer lies right at the click of this button. Join 303 Magazine for what’s predicted to be Denver’s hottest  party series of Summer 2012.

Grab your polka dot bikini, gurl and get your head in the game for some boat-free wakeboarding,volleyball, horseshoes and more, because it’s summer, it’s hot, and it’s time to party.


Kaelyn Gustafson is the Desk Editor for Health and Sports at 303 Magazine. She is an avid runner, eager cyclist, and yogi-lovin’ Denver enthusiast. Follow her posts on Twitter.

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