While this post is highly controversial, and seemingly rife with stereotypes, personal dating experience as well as conferring with other women about experiences with their “maybe men” has led me to outline possible signs that your heterosexual mate could be bisexual or gay. Many men struggle with their sexuality well into their 30s and beyond. Many gay men and women have children with opposite sex partners and get married only to find themselves unhappy and uncomfortable  I recently met a man at a wedding with a 13-year-old son who had been with his gay partner since his son was five years old. 116243072 A man may not confront his sexuality due to anticipated animosity from his peers, work colleagues or his family and friends. And many men live in denial for years. 8 Signs You Might be Dating a Gay Man: #1.) Mr. Clean While not all gay men are fastidious about cleaning their homes and their grooming habits, gay men are often very meticulous. Men who obsess about their shower rituals, shave the majority of their body hair and have a deep aversion to a messy household, might, in fact, be gay. The man I knew would chide me about my vacuum habits and was very judgmental about my kitchen dish towels being used more than once. His Sunday laundry ritual was hours and hours long and his evening bathroom routine would take at least 45 minutes and had to include: flossing, showering, shaving, brushing his teeth, face washing and a retainer. He even had moisturizing gloves to wear overnight and occasionally used a clay face mask. #2.) Birds of a Feather While many men have great straight and gay friends, a man who has a very close closeted or openly gay friend and spends significant time with them, might be questionable. The man I dated had a gay friend who was once of his closest buddies and would buy him extravagant presents like a 3D Blu-Ray player as well as treating to dinner appetizers and offering up his Netflix subscription. My boyfriend told me his friend liked “gifting” people and spending money on his friends. I love getting my friends gifts as well, like cookie pans, not Blu-Ray players.135885589 #3.) Good-Bye Girlfriend While many gay men have enduring female friendships as well as female lovers and partners, gay men have difficulty keeping up the charade. Oftentimes, gay men will have very short relationships and/or have a very “light” history of dating women. They may make “pretend efforts” to meet people to throw others off their trail, i.e. singles events, dances, cruises. Gay men will often tell the women they’re with things like, “they’re moving too fast” or make other excuses to avoid deeper commitments or attachements. They may even say hurtful things in an effort to push away the women they’re with and force their hand in ending things. #4.) Let’s Talk About… Straight guys typically love sex. They want to have it very regularly and enjoy it. Closeted gay men might avoid it or make excuses for not having it. They also may try kinky bedroom behavior or remain virgins. #5.) Shop ’til You Drop My past boyfriend loved shopping. We spent two hours at the garden store once (while he purchased plants and flowers) and just as long at Bed, Bath and Beyond (he bought $60 salt and pepper shakers). He also had long drawn out shoe shopping excursions. While many heterosexual men enjoy shopping, oftentimes, gay men spend more time looking, browsing and buying. #6.) Family Feud There is often an incentive for gay men to avoid addressing their sexuality. Homophobic parents, Midwest roots or male-dominated careers can keep them from embracing their true selves. Gay men often stay in the closet for fear of repercussions from their families and the community. #7.) Dance, Dance Revolution Many heterosexual males are excellent dancers and love to dance, but if your man pursues years of Zumba classes as well as swing classes, and is the first to bust out Britney or Michael moves, it might be a sign. #8.) Study Habits Gay men who are in the closet will find ways to feign their straight status. They may have many books on pleasing women, sex and love. Straight men will watch pornos to get their intel, while gay men will seek out ways to understand how to negotiate female needs so the cover-up continues.

33 Responses

  1. Paul Feinberg

    I agree with some of these, but a lot of this is based on stereotypes with no actual backing if research. I think this will offend a lot of gay men

    Reply
  2. Ra Kingsbury

    Too many of these points match the personality of the guy i'm dating. In fact I wondered from the onset (and have continued to)… *sigh*

    Totally turned-off now…

    Reply
  3. Staci

    Uhhh…you must be gay Paul feinberg . Who cares if gay men will be offended, if your gay in the closet you are offending society. Disgusting .

    Reply
    • lenita

      dont pay attention to those stereotypes, better follow my advice posted up there!

      Reply
  4. Tiffany

    I have a feeling I may be with someone that’s in the closet also and it’s really getting to me and I don’t kno what to do .. I’ve heard a lot of gay story’s about him and I also have two baby boys with him but a lot of those describe the way he acts and I have recently seen his been lookin at young boy gay porn ( twinks ) this is making me so sick but I don’t kno how to ask him about it ..

    Reply
    • Daniel

      Hi Tiffany. I think your suspicions are right on the money. As hard as it may be, as much as you may love him it aint going to work out. I’m gay, and going through a similar issue – in that I’ve been getting close to a guy in the closet. A lot of issues have arisen as a result.

      Reply
  5. questions?

    i agree with some of this, but so much more to add
    how about constantly ditching the girlfriend to spend every waking hour with the overly physical boy “friend”. how about hating most women including one’s mom? how about him stating certain attractive boys or men are “delicious?” Is this truly how straight guys act in this generation of 20 year olds? Or are these really signs of homosexuality?

    Reply
  6. elaine

    these comments are so untrue, and you are indeed stereotyping to the extreme. Gays come in all shapes and sizes, love to do many things straight men do ie fishing, hunting, working on cars, etc…many are slobs just like straight men. it takes all kinds. but your opinions are just that..opinions.
    live in San Francisco for a while and see for yourself. there are ALL kinds of gay men…everywhere. many of them are VERY different from the next. closeted men can be hillbillies, priests, politicians, fathers, hippies, you name it.

    Reply
  7. Gomez Brenes

    Very simple, do you want to know if your "man is gay? showing pictures of pretty sexy trannies and tell them you would like to make a threesome them. Obviously the reaction and the response of your man will tell you if he is gay or not! but make him believe you are genuinely interested in thta kind of things

    Trust me you will be shock of what you will discover! and let me know of the outcome!

    Reply
  8. Gomez Brenes

    Gay men are more clean and meticulous not true! I have seen real straight men who have this characteristics! any ways this claims needs to be back up by statistical research that could show a correlation!

    Reply
  9. Gomez Brenes

    #2.) Birds of a Feather; another stereotype, many men who accept them as gays and are completely happy about it are very masculine and don't really follow the guidelines of what a gay is supposed to be.

    Reply
  10. Gomez Brenes

    Straight men love sex and a closet gay will avoid sex with a woman, another lie, many closet gays still have a very active sex live with women and actually go with peers to bars to meet girls!

    Reply
  11. Gomez Brenes

    Finally i am a transgender and I know when a man is a closet gay instantly! why they cant resist the idea of having sex with trannies!

    Reply
  12. Stacy

    I got a question my current baby father I think is in the closet I text a dude from the area playing like my boyfriend and the guy Texted back and said I’m at the crib on block what do Yall think

    Reply
  13. Mika

    im super gay, and funny im not the neatest person! i dont have shower rituals or anything like that! im here cause i can not read the signs of a “straight” friend that his behavior is so bizzard towards me! help me!

    Reply
  14. Anoynomus

    I’m a female who just come out of a similar situation…..My Ex-Man of one year is a closeted gay male…..In the beginning he carried hisself like a straight man…But when I meet his friends, many women friends and a few male friends…Watch who he hangs around and how HE acts around you, when his friends are around, and how they treat you….With mine experience, my Ex had one male friend he was close too!….They were so tight, when his Buddy would come around, I would get ignored completely by mine boyfriend…And his so called best buddy, would disrespect me, indirectly, and would always act jealous by competing with Me for his time….My ex would play the ladies man type with the many female associates/friends as a cover up…And would always pretend to be running players with boy, to get girls….They both knew how to charm and be overly friendly, to appear to be masculine before there straight friends and family…My ex also would try to make his friend mine friends, but only the male lover he preferred, would act jealous and tried to steal time away from me….This is a big red flagg!…True straight men, who like you, will defend the woman he claims is his…If he is straight, he will not let another man interfere….if his buddy is straight and true friends, he will not disrespect him by doing so, and will understand…..So, birds of a feather, flocks together….Watch out how he behaves around another man is present, and how that man behaves…If he’s overly excited and ignores you, and spends too much time away, when he should be giving you his time, an it’s so common, and he’s less excited and so tired when he’s with his woman….That is an ultimate red flag that you boyfriend is a closeted Man!

    Reply
  15. Freda Mccoy

    One thing for sure some date petty women so people say he ain't gay you seen his girl.they date you because they wanna be you Watch out there every where real talk.stop putting women at risk if your gay at least if you can't tell her leave her alone.

    Reply
  16. Ladycece

    Some people (gays) may be offended by this, but to some degree these statements hold truth. And please understand, this list is NOT for those that are Gay and out of the closet!! There may not be a “one size fits all” but there is a “one size fits many.” More often that not, it’s not one category, but several categories that a guy may fall into on the list, plus a few more that are not listed. The point is if they were truly honest about their sexuality, they wouldn’t have to worry about a list, suspicions, or stereotypes. Unfortunately, the ones that should be offended (the down low gays)will not say that they are, because that would mean they would have to admit it, and they are not. So in the mean time, people will always come up with their own devices to try and recognize a down low male. Stop being down low, and you won’t see these lists or comments any more.

    Reply
  17. Cheryl Ward Galella

    You are so right about this. I did this and his reaction was as you said. He went for it and it really excited him. I.wasn't shocked at this really. He has exhibited many other things in the past. But, it did confirm it!!

    Reply
  18. Cheryl Ward Galella

    You are so right about this. I did this and his reaction was as you said. He went for it and it really excited him. I.wasn't shocked at this really. He has exhibited many other things in the past. But, it did confirm it!!

    Reply
  19. Leigh

    So “someone” recently searched ‘straight male forced to take cock’ followed by ‘youporn’ on my very meticulously groomed 42-year old never-married-no-children boyfriend’s personal computer that nobody ever uses except him…he does have a house guest right now so kind of a way out in terms of trying to figure out who did it. But he is more defensive than upset or curious about who could’ve done it. I think I know what the answer is, but I’m less sure of the question… I mean, what am I supposed to think or do?

    Reply
  20. Sarah

    Let me tell you my stories guys!! Last 2008 i have boyfriend we enjoyed and spend our time together..when my boyfriend went to other place to visit his friend on same sex, he become friend the friend of his friend then later on they become close to each other..To make this story short,this friend of my friend had a contact number ad also he keeps calling me for no reason, when me and my boyfriend travel to another country, the friend of my boyfriend keeps calling him in early morning and he knew that we are together, later on he send money to my boyfriend and asked him to travel to another country and me i was alone and his friend asked to to return to my country. Then the friend (man) of my boyfriend keeps calling me but i did not feel love for him because i loved my boyfriend, so i just answered his call during he called me just sign of my respect to him but my boyfriend knew that he keep calling me and same time he keep calling to my boyfriend too.. Since then, me and boyfriend keeps chatting and talking while we are far away. And also his friend keeps calling us too..Later on our relationship with my boyfriend become worst, we feel that his friend wants us separate. And his friend told me “Leave him because you dont have future to that man” so i believed him, and his friend helping me everything what i need! Then he told me he did not call to my boyfriend, i only contacting you and don’t contact him i will give everything what you want. And this guy keeps talking to me sweet words so my feelings turn to him.We started talking to him since 2009 we did not meet each other until 2012 June. Until now he still helping and he keeps me. But since we met last June 2012 we didn’t have sex, we just kissed by lips and hugs inside his car, we didn’t go to private place and we didn’t see each other always, our communication is phone. I stay in one room, i have everything and i don’t have work, he’s helping financially but he don’t come or visit me in my room, i want sex with him but he don’t want i asked him ‘Why?” he told me he respects me a lot and i am too expensive for him. Please note that he is Muslim and i am Muslim too. he travel with male friends and he is married and have kids.

    Please help me what to do because i feel so bored and i feel depressed about my situation. Or is he a gay or bisexual? Please help me!!

    Reply
  21. Andrew

    MEN in majority love sex and talking about it, no matter if they are gay str8 or bi.

    Perhaps if a man bought his friend a cookie sheet, instead of letting him use his Netflix he might be gay, but men giving men gifts is not gay. Lol

    Reply
  22. waheedah

    I TRULY THINK I’VE DATED A GAY MAN HE’S BEEN IN PRISON MANY TIMES AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT OTHER MEN UNBELIEVABLE

    Reply
  23. Lisa Kowalski

    I promise to share this testimony all over the world once my boyfriend return back to me, and today with all due respect i want to thank Olorun for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I want to inform you all that there is a spell caster that is real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things until i loosed my boyfriend, I required help until i found (igbodospiritualtemple@gmail.com ) a grate spell caster, And he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 3 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. Olorun released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. As I’m writing this testimony right now I’m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that’s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe.All thanks goes to Olorun for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. email him on; igbodospiritualtemple@gmail.com

    Reply
  24. Doreen Foskett

    This is a very joyful day of my life because of the help Doctor Zaza has rendered to me by helping me get my ex back with his magic spell. i was married for 6 years and it was so terrible because my husband was really cheating on me and was seeking for a divorce but when i came across Doctor Zaza email on the internet i explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Husband has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Doctor Zaza is truly a real spell caster. DO YOU NEED HELP THEN CONTACT DOCTOR ZAZA NOW VIA EMAIL: indiaspellcaster@hotmail.com

    Reply
  25. Anonymous

    As a guy man the article is correct. It is a shame how many gay men get married to cover up. It's not right to ruin the life of a women, just so you can cover up. I cannot count the number of my gay friends that ended up married and so unhappy. Then have kids to illustrate that they can "have sex with a woman". Totally not fair to the kids to live in an unhappy home.

    Reply
  26. Lyev Mahrk

    Being attracted to the same sex in countries like USA,UK Canada is really easily as i have heard.There are still people there who don't like people like us but it not as bad as that of Russia cos here we are beaten jailed and sometimes even killed.You can't hold the hand of the one you care about in the public so as to avoid been harassed we can even set a place to me cos if we are caught we face jail time.Here in Russia we gay are prisoner in our own country.I am currently in a relation with my fiance and we had to leave Russia to be together.Before now his parent were against our relationship cos they had no idea he was gay we sneaked around knowing the risks if we were to be caught.When he finally got heart to tell him family the rejected him and asked he stops seeing me or they were going to turn him in and that scared him a lot his father is a very powerful man in Russia and he made it possible for him not to be able to live the country i mean as long as you have money in Russia anything goes.I was lucky they never got to meet me cos if they did i would have not been here right now writing this article that you are all reading.Probably i would have been in jail.Months passed and there was no way we could see each other cos they had him watched to make sure he is never get to meet me and also to know the person the was he was practicing this profane act with as they called it.They stripped him of all his right to the family assets and made him an outcast i could see he was suffering form the text he was sending me they made his life miserable and made him end our relationship.I knew he was confused and did know what to do to get his life back to make his family see him the way they use to.And i knew that his family were never going to accept his life style cos they are so anti gay.If they were to be a fund riser to fight gay practice in Russia his family will be the first to ask that they host it.I love him so much but he was scared of him family and they also had a grip on him.I know most person don't believe in what about to say but still if it wasn't for Mutton Osun a spell caster that i found on the internet i would not have been writing this.It happened maybe by a slim chance or fate that i was a blog were it happened that i read three distinct comment about how he help them with similar problem.I contacted him with an email address that was in the comment.I asked Mutton Osun to cast a spell to make my then boyfriend to make up his mind to run away from Russia with me to be together and also his family as in his father to make it possible for him to leave Russia with me and set a very comfortable life for us were we were going.And i know doing spells with someone you can't even see is outrageous but i promise you he makes you feel more at else when he calls and he really goes through with his promise cos he did with mine he was really helpful to him and kind.And like other people said he doesn't even charge you for what he is doing for you.I had to provide some list of materials that he asked that i get for my spell casting.I preferred that i sent the money down to him cos they were not easy to find and even when i found them it was so expensive but he could get them cheaply.He instructed me on how to make the spell work with great effect.It took 7 seven day and night to see it result.On the seventh night my boyfriend call me to tell me we could finally be together cos his father did agreed to do all i asked mutton osun to make him do i just knew at once it was Mutton Osun spell cos it what i asked for and now me and fiance are the happiest right now we can hold hand now without fear of being harassed or sent to jail for we are in love and we are very comfortable here.His father made sure everything was set before we even got here just like i asked it should be.Am going to also leave Mutton Osun email here just like others have done for contact purpose godsofosunx@rocketmail.com

    Reply

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