Showmances: Master the Art of Multi-Dating for Womenby Amy Spagnola on Aug 22, 2013 • 7:30 am No Comments
Women often date with an endgame: to find that perfect partner to settle down with. Men often date with a different endgame altogether: finding someone to have fun with. While women want to attach, men want to explore. While we’re naming our future kids on the second date (Riley and Parker!), men are glaring at the hot hostess. The only antidote to this conundrum is for women to turn the tables on the monogamy mission and to date more than one suitor at a time. While for many women (including myself), this feels unnatural and foreign, it’s in fact the most prudent approach.
The idea of a “pair and a spare” is a smart single woman’s best method to playing the field. While juggling three potential paramours is often a lot of effort, the payoff is worth the price. Kissing frog after frog makes it easier to not get overly invested in one, or start the bad habit of projecting and planning a future with any of the beaus-in-waiting.
Balancing a harem of hotties will involve sacrifices but a social calendar packed with salsa lessons, dessert bars and midnight make-out sessions will be worth it. Once you’ve lined up three dudes for your romantic rotation, it’s important to decide on your own aspirations. Are you looking for love or to get laid? Dating a variety of men can lead to lots of satisfying sack sessions but there will be a price to pay if you become emotionally entangled. Make sure you can separate your feelings from frisky-ness.
The smartest strategy to multi-dating is in fact not to bed any of the boys but to wait for exclusivity with one that’s a keeper, however it should be noted that men engage in meaningless hook-ups all the time without fear of shame, guilt or judgement, so if you’re ready for the risk and want the nooky, go for it (condoms are a must).
The Benefits of Multi-Dating Men:
1.) Less Availability – Men love the chase and you’ll be far more enticing if you’re busy
2.) Less Pressure – If Guy #2 doesn’t return your call, you won’t freak out…you’ll just call Guy #3
3.) Less Rushing – If you meet a guy you do like and want to see often, you won’t be inclined to bend over backwards to fit into their schedule as yours will be packed
4.) Less Expectations – Oftentimes, if you’re dating one dude you’ll expect the relationship to evolve and become meaningful which doesn’t always happen when you want it to, but a stockpile of studs will blunt this belief
1.) If you’re roaming around, don’t be surprised or hurt if he is too
2.) There’s no sweet couple-y bf/gf activities you can do as you’re not at this stage (i.e. friend and family outings)
3.) Lots of primping, grooming and preparing for dates
4.) Ditching two dudes will be dicey but necessary at some pointAmy Spagnola lives in Broomfield, Colorado and never gets tired of coconut frozen yogurt. She seeks style scores wherever she travels—including Iceland, Egypt, Russia and Venezuela. She holds a Master’s degree in journalism and has released a book on cyber shopping; she loves playing Lois Lane when she’s not in yoga class or showing off her ping pong skills. See more of Amy’s writing at: www.amyspagnola.com