You’re finally at that point. You have uttered the L-word enough times, it almost comes naturally, you’ve met each other’s friends and families, you’ve even left an item or five at each other’s places. Now, to get out of the daily grind, the V-word has been dropped several times, so you put your money where your mouth is and start surfing the ‘net for your first—oh please, that was a first on date three, if you’re a prude—I’m talking a vacation, together. You find a steal of a deal and—so stoked you practically have your bags all packed and your booking number all but assigned—you pick up the phone just before clicking the submit button to make sure he can get the time off work. Bursting with excitement, you start to rattle off the itinerary of the Caribbean cruise you two will be embarking on when he stops you mid-sentence.
“Wow, Caribbean? I was hoping we could stay up in the mountains, rent a nice little cabin and go fishing, hiking, maybe even camp out one night…I am sure we can find a pool for you up there.”
Awkward. You seemed to have so much in common just a few days ago, but if your ideas of ideal vacationing are as far apart as the Rocky Mountains and the Atlantic, you may have a problem.
If you’re both adventurous and like trying new things, this may actually turn out to be a blissful union, with each of you teaching the other how to appreciate the unknowns. But, if you’re set in your own ways and he in his, who will sacrifice? Does he give up his love of the manly outdoors to lounge out by the ocean and sip on a piña colada (or other “manly” drinks one associates with the beach)? Do you trade in the ocean waves for the natural mountain springs?
Ah, compromise, how did I not think of that? Mountains this week, beach the next—problem solved. Oh, wait. We live in the grand U.S. of A, where getting a week of paid vacation a year is the norm, two weeks—for some—a luxury. If you give up the Islands, you’re not giving them up for a few months, you’re most likely giving them up for the year. So much for a win-win.
Don’t quit yet—you’ve already named your unborn children with this guy, this simply can’t be a deal breaker. Brainstorm places that the both of you have always wanted to visit. Come up with locations that offer the best of both worlds. Create a vacation package that covers both ends of the spectrum: sunbathing and hiking, lazy moments and active ones. Better yet, travel with other couples—that way, during the day, the ladies can lounge while the men explore, and the couples can reunite at dusk for a happy ending.
If that doesn’t work, maybe it’s time to split, especially if you only get seven days a year. Use them wisely.
Vicky fills the shoes of local Carrie Bradshaw in CandiDates, a blog about her own quest to explore the intricacies of relationships. Originally from Kiev, Ukraine, she has made Denver her home and playground. An editor and writer for 303 Magazine by day, Vicky spends her nights pursuing her passion of ballroom dance.