I am going to permanently cut back on this.

For those of you who’ve been keeping up, I took The School of Sweat Hot’s advice and decided to do a detox. I. Am. So. Tired. I don’t know if it’s all the extra hours I’ve been logging on 303 projects or if it’s because of the detox, but baby gotta sleep.

So, last time I wrote, I was talkin’ bout how I had to go somewhere where keeping to the detox would prove to be incredibly difficult. Out of respect for those involved, I’m not going into details, but suffice it say, if I brought my own food/asked what type of food would be there ahead of time, I would have been the world’s biggest asshole. Not showing up wasn’t an option either. Sara Peternell, The BodyLab’s health care professional providing me with the Ultra Clear supplements that I’ve been taking, said that since the event was on Day 9–after the most difficult and cleanest days of 5-8–I could incorporate diary back into my diet if I wanted and just stick to fruit and veggies otherwise. Cheese was present, but nothing else was. It was a gorgeous spread of lunch meats and cheeses, breads and some scrumptious looking potato salad. Oh yeah, and gigantic, soft and crunchy chocolate chip cookies. But, really. FML.

I decided to grab some turkey and ham delicatessen meat (despite my attempt to make these meat sound fancy, it was not organic) and the cheese was for sure processed. I’m not a snob, so I’m not hating on what was there. It just wasn’t part of the plan. And, the rye bread looked so delicious and the vat of mayonnaise everyone was slapping on their sandys made my mouth water. But, I decided to keep it mellow. Plus, I haven’t been friends with mayonnaise in quite some time.

It’s not like this is my life, but it is how I felt.

Unsurprisingly, I was starving just a couple of hours later. I was in a new environment and was offered a glass of wine. Given the circumstances–they were quite complicated to say the least–I accepted it, but didn’t actually want to drink. I did though. Not even half of a half of a glass. I took about seven sips of wine. I immediately regretted it for my body, but also was excited to tell everyone what this will do to you.

1. I became incredibly overheated
2. I felt extremely giddy and silly. Goofy really, like a person who has never had a drink in her life. Remember, this is just a few sips of wine.
3. I was extraordinarily hung over the next day. I’m not joking.

This was likely a combination of things–eating diary after not having it included. Plus, I had some grains–not many, but still. All of this clearly shocked my system. But, what it was sort of exciting to know with such certainty that thing is working. Yes, my excrement has been all over the color spectrum and yes, I tasted something nasty in my mouth for days (culprit is likely ciggy butts)–that should be proof enough. And, I’m glad to know how this is going to feel coming out of it. I have a birthday dinner to attend at an Italian restaurant the day after I’m done, so I will take it easy. I had no idea how clean I would feel.

Did I fail? I don’t think so. I didn’t make the best choice I could have, but I’m not perfect. I wouldn’t recommend doing what I did, but I’m glad to know what happens. And, I won’t hurt myself next time. See, how I normally eat is not far off of what I’m doing. And, a bottle of wine won’t necessarily make me feel as bad as I did off these few sips. So, I may have really hurt myself without this little toe-dip moment.

I was talking to Tyler Corbett, one of The Lab’s Lifestyle Engineers and telling him that I didn’t find this one to be all that challenging. The second I feel trapped in the house, I fall asleep, ya know? And what’s wrong with spending your weekends at the pool? But, he said that’s probably because I wasn’t incredibly toxic to begin with. He pointed out some people in the gym–knowing their eating habits–and said that they might find it incredibly challenging. It has taught me so much–don’t get me wrong. I have learned and enjoyed this process immensely, but I wasn’t put through the ringer necessarily. Another friend of mine said he used to eat only organic food and that he felt really fragile. I have to say, after that experience, I sort of feel that way myself.

Days 9 & 10 Lows
-I am for sure more tired while eating grains, wheat, cheese, etc., than I was the days I did without them.
-I am insanely cranky again. The cat’s meow, the dog’s bark, any mistake anyone I work with makes–all of it.
-I feel worked up and stressed at every turn.
-I even feel a bit sensitive. I’ve notice I’m really taking unresponsiveness and turning it into dejection instead of letting it roll of my shoulder like usual.
-I realized how much money I’ve spent on the food part of this and it’s pretty ridiculous. I’ll have to do some research on what are the most important organic elements that I can truly afford to keep in my life on a regular basis. Or…ask Sarah.

Days 9 & 10 Highs
-I’ve discovered that I can live without cheese–my first love. Not forever, by any means. But, I can go days on end without it.
-I didn’t like the way I looked in my last Editor’s photo. I thought I looked very chunky. And, I love the way I look in the one that’s coming out. It’s great.
-I’ve been having an easier time running.
-I feel like my whole life has changed in a way. I know I’ve been saying it’s been easy, but I feel like 700 doors just opened and it’s cool for me to walk through any of them.

Laura Standley is the editor in chief of 303 Magazine. She’s been blogging about fitness since January 2011. To read her past blog posts, click here.

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