The only times I’ve ever heard the phrase “medical detox” was with some friends of mine who had some serious monkeys on their backs. Shakes, sweats, tremors, nightmares–the works–as they withdrew from things like heroin, oxycodone and cocaine. I have only withdrawn from cigarettes–a fact I’ve mentioned a few times–and save for the pounds I gained afterward, I suffered not. Don’t hate on me, but quitting ciggs was like cake. I just stopped and literally never thought of it again. But, I did eat the cake.
I’m doing a detox with a medical food. It was developed in Colorado and is only available through licensed health care professionals–not online and not at a health food store. As if working out at The BodyLab didn’t make me feel exclusive enough, now I have access to this? Plebeians be damned! But, the truth is, despite The Lab having their hands on Sara Peternell, she is available to the masses–not just to the braggadocious set, such as myself.
Why do this thing? Well, several reasons. We live in a toxic world and this is one way to hit the reset button on that. The goal of this is to clean toxins out of my body. Sara pointed out that unless I live on an organic compound with a bubble that only allows in clean air, I’m toxic…a Britney Spears song comes to mind. Anyway, this detox will reset my metabolic functions, clean me out at the cellular level and give me so much nutrition. It’ll make me stronger (and cooler). So, that’s the point. But, some other stuff is pretty appealing as well.
For instance, 90 percent of people will lose weight from this. Sara said one client lost six pounds in week one (it’s a two-week deal). When I heard this, I was all: “But, Sara, will the weight just come right back?” And she was all, “Well, toxins carry weight. So, you’ll clean them out and then immediately, you’ll start putting them back in…” But, she made a good point. Because you’re eating so clean for two weeks, you’re not going to go back to the poor choices of yesterday immediately. I’m sure I’ll eventually wander back into some bad decisions, but at least this keeps you conscious of what you’re capable of and how you feel when you give yourself the good stuff, the stuff that dreams are made of.
So, I’m just at the beginning phase and I fully plan on keeping you posted on what this process is like and what symptoms I’m experiencing a few times per week. Sara said since I haven’t cleansed or detoxed since I was a smoker, I might taste a ciggy butt in my mouth or have cravings. She also said pretty much anything goes–I can expect headaches, withdrawal and irritation on the easy end, to vomiting, diarrhea and fatigue on the more difficult end. And while all of those symptoms are common when you’re gutting your guts, she said if I didn’t experience anything at all, that would be weird. On the more positive side, I can also expect to feel lighter, lose weight, have more energy and even experience euphoria. Emotional dramas might pop up, too–and lord knows I have some of that to exorcize.
Day 1 – Highs
I baked salmon, seasoned my own quinoa and used coconut water in my shake. I’ve never done any of that before. I have also purchased every type oil known to man: flax, sunflower, olive, coconut, etc. I love an oil, let alone a collection of them. I feel like I could really fool someone into believing I know what I’m doing with all of these oils and grains. Now, all I have to do is get them fancy containers.
I feel in control and excited to hit my reset button.
When I was at Whole Foods, I had a lovely conversation about The xx, which would have never happened without such a trip being necessary.
Day 1 – Lows
I feel pretty hungry at the end of the day, and extraordinarily tired, but I know it’s because I’ve been overeating lately and I worked an obscene amount.
I didn’t eat the right thing/enough before I worked out this morning and I was a little dizzy.
I found it a little tricky to leave the house as I needed to time everything appropriately.
Laura Standley is the editor in chief of 303 Magazine. She’s been blogging about fitness since January 2011. To read her past blog posts, click here.