Yoga Stretch—146079971

It Surely Is Pretty

I’ve never, ever practiced yoga on a beach. Not even once. I’ve been practicing, this time around anyway, for almost five consecutive years, and I’ve been to the ocean every summer in that time, during a winter or two as well, but have never actually practiced on the sand. I did it on a mat next to the shore, on top of a concrete patio in Puerto Morelos, Riviera Maya, Mexico, last summer, with Sergio instructing, I think was this young man’s name… Oh, Sergiooooooooo…but, stepping onto the sand to strike a pose, nope, hasn’t happened.

I know exactly why this is. It is the cliché of it that has kept me from striking an outstretched Natarajasana DANCER pose, waves crashing yards from my silhouette, ominous sky set as the background, water gently lapping at my ankles, sand slipping through my toes, bathing suit staying perfectly put (the dream version, of course). What I mean by the cliché of it is that it’s (only) slightly annoying seeing someone do yoga on the beach. You’ve seen the photos on Facebook. Perfect sunset and even more perfectly toned, rippling muscled legs in Vasisthasana SIDE PLANK TREE VARIATION pose. Is it beautiful? Of course it is. Can’t and wouldn’t argue that one bit. Is it cheesy?  A reverberating, resounding yes from this lady. Yes, yes, yes. You just sort of want to slap a person for doing yoga in a serene public place. I don’t know why, exactly, but I know I’m not the only one who thinks this.

140386112 Enjoying the sunset

This is How Everyone Enjoys the Sunset

Case in point: a good friend of mine visited my favorite southwestern Colorado hot springs just outside of Ridgway, CO, a couple of years ago. When she returned home to the Front Range, as she related the details of her soak at Orvis Hot Springs, she blurted out, laughing uncontrollably, “I did naked yoga on the lawn.” I, too, couldn’t stop laughing…my friend was that girl. She may even have admitted that she did it with the intention of grabbing and holding the attention of one of the cute (ish) gardeners/grounds’ keepers (he is an old friend of mine, hence the ish). The first thought that popped into my mind, oh goodness, she was doing forward folds, diving into Uttanasana, hands pressed together at her heart, looking all peaceful, bending fully over with her crack hanging out. And that ain’t all that was hanging out, clearly. I laughed and laughed and laughed as she described the scene that was like a home away from home for me, as I used to spend hours upon hours every week soaking at Orvis: the lush green lawn, steam rising off the hot pool, flowers swaying in the breeze, an inspiring mountain view in every direction, streams of relaxed, nude hot spring guests (some nice to “be” around, some…well…not so much) lounging about, sneaking furtive glances at the other patrons from the nooks and crannies of the three pools. Now it was my friend’s every body part that was all kinds of exposed as she did Hanumanasana SPLIT on the lawn instead of some random stranger from whom I quickly averted my gaze.

Of course, at Yoga Rocks the Beach—okay, I’ve dubbed 303 Magazine Pool Party Yoga Rocks the Beach, no one else is calling it that, but I know we can start a trend here, fit people of Denver—there’ll be no nude yoga on the sand taking place. Go to the pool party at Mile High Wake Park anyway (you know you bought your tickets already) and do some yoga. Kindness Yoga’s Kirk Lautensleger will teach a thirty-minute session on the sand starting at 11 am. I saw on the 303 Magazine Pool Party Series Facebook page that one of the 10,000 members said, “Hot ass men and nearly naked women…I’ll be there!” or something like that. I’m not going back to the page to get a direct quote: you know who you are, as you posted the comment. Defend the authenticity of your quote here (and then share this blog, get your tickets for the party if you haven’t already and invite all your friends. And most importantly, from my standpoint anyway, invite them to do yoga at the pool party). This yoga will make you hotter for the day, I promise. Lautensleger is trained in power yoga, among other types, so he’ll be sure to get your muscles toned and sculpted (or huger and bulging, depending on your preference and gender, that is) just before you slather on the tanning oil and drain a Kettle and soda, extra lime, to get you loose for the day spent walking the sand in a bikini. Take it from 303 Magazine Pool Party Series’ 9,054th member, “nearly naked” is what she made a point to say, not naked naked.

139913500 pretty female doing yoga at the beach

More like this is What I Imagine

Don’t wait another second. Get your tickets for the 303 Magazine Pool Party and sign up to do the thirty-minute yoga session at 11 am with Kirk Lautensleger (bring your yoga mat and we’ll stash them somewhere for the remainder of the day. The beach is ours; let’s do as we may.). Oh, and please, more than a birthday suit is recommended for the yoga session.

 

Aubrey Brobst is a writer and editor who is mildly obsessed with yoga. When she’s not practicing it, she’s thinking about the next time she will. And whether or not she has enough time before the start of class to ride her Jaguar Shark cruiser to the studio.

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